if not now, then when?

                

Because seven is looming on the horizon and the last time I was here she had just turned five. I blinked and just like that - two years, in a flash.

I kept telling myself I'd return when I was once and for all caught up with all the things that keep a mama busy. Yes, once I was ahead of the game, then I'd jump back in, but come to find out, as a mama you are never ever, not even once, ahead of the game. Life is to be enjoyed, with all the messy beautiful and if you wait to have it all together before you start enjoying, well, then it will be too late in the end. And I have been enjoying it with all my people, but I haven't been carving out the time here to reflect and record. For myself now and for the future me.

I may try to play catch up to bring this little place up to speed, or I may just jump right in with both feet of the life we have here and now.

only time will tell... but one thing is for sure. I will be back. And soon. Because if not, one day all this that I tell myself I could never forget, oh I will. My heart will long for it, the days we were all together under one roof, but the details will be forgotten. So I'll be back.

Soon. Very very soon.